An Inconvenient Truth

Every new year I try to look in the mirror and see where I need the most improvement. Years ago, it was simple changes like plucking my eyebrows and trimming my bangs. Now I have no eyebrows to speak of, unless you count those long, white hairs that practically grow into my ears. (Or are they actually hairs growing out of my ears onto my brow line?) And merely trimming my bangs will not help this mess of faded, silver rooted helmet hair I've been blessed with in my old age.

What I have learned to accept is that no amount of wrinkle cream or moisturizer or Pretend You Still Have It Eyeliner can change what nature sucks out of us. But another truth that hits me square in the gut ( no pun intended) is we can all change our bodies. Be it losing weight, toning arms, or shedding that embarrassing back fat, consistent attention to diet and exercise can make your reflection one to be proud of.

And how do I know this? Because I've been there. The mirror was my dear friend on more than one occasion. But guess what? I did some serious backsliding with the help of cheesecake and nachos and white bread smeared with something gooey and delicious.

 In other words, I cheated. And let me tell you, folks, a successful diet is like a loving marriage. You can't cheat. It doesn't work. You have to be dedicated, honest and focused. 

Oh, we all have excuses of why our jean size went up, how come our bellies are multiplying, or why our thighs are so large they no longer thunder but instead slap together like whales making babies.

I don't mean to offend anyone. I'm laughing at myself here. Crying, really. Sulking. Bawling. Sobbing and slobbering into my last piece of pie. Sad that someone didn't take me by my wing flap and tell me I was getting fat.

You think it would be obvious. But it takes time to grow this many necks. Truly.

All those root beer floats and late night pizzas quietly layered themselves into my fat cells until I gradually grew a whole other me. One day I was happy with plucking eyebrows, the next day I'm looking at a Hungry Hippo that I must get out of my mirror!

I don't know about you, but I'm going to say goodbye to this misshaped, mushy, Rollie-pollie, cellulite infested body. 

It's not going to be easy. In fact, it's going to be painful. More painful than salt in a wound, having teeth pulled without Novocain, or being hit by a bus at 90 mile an hour.

But, you know what? I am ready. I look forward to this challenge. I need this change because I really need to love myself again. 

And you do,too.

Of course, there is one minor thing I failed to mention. I'm not starting this journey till Monday, January 6th. You are welcome to join me. I have no doubt I will slip up, screw 

up, and fall down. But I'm going to get back up and fight a good fight. I want to prove to myself it can be done.

That the mirror can be my friend again...