Don't Be A Gilligan

I have been on a lot of Gilligan diets. You know, the ones where you set off with good intentions and then get sidetracked and lost for years and years and years? It's the kind of diet where you resort to all sorts of crazy and bizarre plans to get back to where you want to be. You never feel quite at home. You cry to be rescued.  You fail miserably.

We all need to have a map. A plan. A goal. A destination of where we want to be in 6 months to a year. 

I know, it's like dreaming. 

It IS dreaming! I dream everyday of myself in jeans three sizes smaller. With a waist that doesn't look like I'm hiding a python. With legs that actually have ankles and shins - and not just hairy fat that smooshes all over the car seat like molten lava. I want perkiness in the right places and firmness where none has ever dared to go before. I want to look like the woman I dream of being.

Today you need to find a picture of yourself that you hate. One that embarrasses you. One that you would have taken a match to long ago if someone hadn't stopped you because they said, " Oh, your smile looks so pretty there!" Which is really secret lingo for "too bad you're fat."

Then find a picture of a body you would like to have. Now, lets be reasonable here. If your closing in on sixty like I am, you're smart enough to know you're never gonna look like any Victoria's angels. Not without major surgery, a crap load of silicon or a genie in a bottle.

So, keep it real. I have one I've saved that is a lady in about a size 9 jeans, a V- neck sweater with a crisp white blouse underneath. She has no rolls, no pooch, no pouch, no swinging flesh or multiple chins. She's sleek, trim, thin and healthy. She's my dream.

When that last bite of tuna makes you want to quit, put those two pictures together. You and the Could Be You. Now and What Can Be. 

What have you got to lose? (Besides the garbage part of yourself.) Anyone can give up sweets and carbs and all that stuff that loads on the pounds -for at least 6 months. Six months! If you're a woman you waited longer than that to have your babies! Pretend its a baby! Nurture it. Feed it right. Spoil it with care and concern.

In six months you won't want to ever go back. You won't recognize the fat picture and you'll work even harder to be the dream picture.

Here are five things that may help you on your trip to Goal.

1. You must know where you are starting from.

Write down your weight. Don't guess, for heavens sake! Get it right.

2. Know where you're going.

Set a reasonable goal. Write it down. Look at it often. Never change it until you get there.

3. Don't be distracted.

Don't let someone else steer your ship or convince you to change your route.

Focus. Fight. Forget those who want to sabatouge  your journey. Don't be a Gilligan!

4. Don't be discouraged.

If you get lost, pull out your map and find your way to the right track.

But don't ever, ever, ever go backwards.

5. Multitask.

While you are losing weight, be good to yourself. Moisturize every day and night. Floss and brush and whiten. Pamper your feet and hands. Use lotion all over after a shower. Wear makeup and do your hair even when you don't feel like it. Because when you reach that goal, you will be glad you did all these other things. It's part of the package.

And remember, it's not going to happen overnight. But spring will come as it does every year, day by day...

Until  you wake up one morning and everything is just how you imagined it.